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Everything you didn’t need to know.
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Welcome to Proforma.News, the world’s most efficient source for the information you absolutely didn’t need to know.
In an era of rapid-fire headlines and engagement-driven journalism, Proforma.News stands at the vanguard of “Pre-Fact” reporting. We don’t just cover the news; we cover the news as it should be—absurd, bureaucratic, and delivered with a level of corporate-bland sincerity that would make a press secretary weep.
From our tactical newsroom in New Orleans to our global bureaus (currently operating out of several mid-sized airport lounges), our team of award-winning correspondents like Sterling Rapport and Brock Deadline are committed to holding the powerful accountable—or at least making sure their paperwork is filed in triplicate.
At Proforma.News, we believe the public record is a screenshot, and we’re here to make sure it’s a high-resolution one.